Subway (from Secrets)

 

Sometimes at night

I put myself

to sleep

with the names

of subway stops

between 125^th

and Fordham Road: 134^th…

145^th… 161^st…

The tunnel unwinds

backwards

under ruined streets

towards a room

where my mother sits

and mediates

between my need

and my father’s

silence.

Childhood is cold

comfort.

The subway roars

and shakes – memory’s

beast – over

its slippery tracks:

167^th… 174^th…

and I cling

to the loop

of numbers

as if I had an appointment

to keep,

as if my mother

and father were not

somewhere else

underground,

already asleep.

 

— Linda Pastan